Fifteen

No one knew the password,
I was just fifteen.
You said I could trust you,
and you’d watch over me.
All I remember was the summer,
writing you letters late at night.
I was wading through the river
of ten million shining lights.
I hid your picture safely,
in my pillow case.
So when the nightmares came
I’d feel protected by your grace.
All our prayers were suppose to be answered
and everything was supposed to be alright
Every breath that you would take
Would turn into my lullabies.
The summer wrapped around us
turning the world a kinder hue.
Starry skies and warm green grass,
fireflies were the innocence I knew.
Every single night was perfect,
You carried me away
one more ride with the gondolier,
bless me in the rain.
I still don’t understand
why without a reason you ran away.
I had just learned to fly again
and you turn my body into a cage.
No one knew the password,
I was just fifteen,
You said I could trust you,
and you’d watch over me.

Fever In and Fever Out

Fever in and fever out

tell me what it’s all about.

Chase me down a lover’s lane,

push me until there’s no more pain.

We’re all gods here on the floor.

Deep with thought and so much more.

Covered in dreams I’m still awake

safe and sound

there’s no escape.

I feel love hanging in the air

above the shame 

your proud despair.  

Razors, mirrors, lullabies

hold me close I’ve climbed so high

The more that hits you by the vein

the further you can run away.

Spin my bottle round and round,

ashes to ashes 

we all fall down.

The lights are out

my dance is weak.

Voices steal away my sleep.

There’s no heaven

all is dark

my innocence is down to sparks.

Silence come and fill my head

as I float above this twisted bed

I hear protests 

I hear shouts.

Fever in and fever out.

Sparrow, Brooklyn NY

Awake in a perilous ocean
I'm fighting free from the fall
that that has helped me
hath betrayed me,
and there's no one to blame at all.
I watch the sunrise in Brooklyn.
I'll be in Union Station by dark,
it's not good or bad or meaningful
it's just the way things are.
I'm in love with violin and arches.
I'm feeling war paint heal,
I feel raw in my skin,
I breath in
instantly everything's real.
"You're Phoenix again"
Sparrow said with a grin
oh she smiled the most perfect smile
"I am" I agreed
glad to feel freed
I've been watching myself stumble a mile.
Then she cried
and I asked why.
She believed part of me was forever lost;
over the years
the grinding gears,
she said I couldn't begin to imagine her loss.

Regrets

  

Behind many faces you meddlesomely spy

so let me cut through the crap.

I am an angel,

a white knight

and hell yeah,

I can be every mother's nightmare.

I breathe in the moment

because past is gone

and my life depends on it.

Don't think this mastermind

doesn't have a long game.

I've had my heart broken before,

I was the girl with two tattoos.

What I don't have is regrets

So go fuck you.

The Leafs Haven't Changed

The leafs haven't changed yet

and neither behind veiled night have I.

Curiously lingering in smoldering hope

as a murder of ravens take to the sky.

I will turn into autumn leafs 

to dance September's song

tattoos and train tickets

write a history centuries long.

I could write until I die

and never completely tell you why

I love you unconditionally.

I approach.

I retreat,

like thundering waves of infinity. 

Clumsy Truth

A lie can travel a galaxy 

while the truth puts on it's shoes.

No junk, no soul, no rock and roll

so my spirit sings the blues.

Truth is far from perfect

never simple, never explained

until it's unimportant

because times makes it all change.

We see the past with twenty twenty,

tomorrow is a blind mystery.

tattoos, sun rises, and performances

become my acquisitive history,

The truth is beautiful and dangerous,

and should be handled with certain caution.

Even in the privacy of your own heart,

you never know who's watching, 

Marilyn

I can be crazy, a maniac,

and I have a tangled soul.

I am Valentine's sweet

and I am every mother's nightmare.

I can tear through like a tornado

and can be like harnessing the lightening.
If your courage can't accept me at my worst,

your heart doesn't deserve my best
Never complain,
Never explain,
and never lower your expectations.