Portrait

I am resilient 

but I am tired. 

This pain is not who I am,

and will not own me. 

I don't need the devotion

Or to be anyone's one and only,

love's a weapon

time's a trigger

and behind my war paint

it gets lonely. 

Don't feel sorry for me

save your mercyfuck sympathy. 

Stay or leave

think what you want of me

I'm a flicker

I'm a torch,

I make tigers pace back and forth.    

Phoenix

I'm an angel undercover,
I'm every mothers nightmare.
There's no taming the tempest,
I see shackles
I disappear.
Rise up in my face and roar
scream and push,
show me that rage and rain.
I know who you really are
and I secure your heart
in the cradle of my brain.
Everyone's tangled in love's chase,
as my whole world shifts.
Today's the loneliest day of the year,
all the love inside me slips.
With the roof open to the stars
I'm on that twilight ride,
remembering past lifetimes
and effigies of those who died.
The gossip's I'm a bad influence.
The truth's I nurture the nature I see.
Save some face
keep safe,
you'll never find something else like me.

You Will

Pain can be evolution's way of shattering the glass and pulling the alarm. 

You never know an actual weight,

of the love, loss and return.  

Photos, lullabies concert tickets

Sing "Let it Be" and let it burn. 

Grab me off the floor and shake me. 

Size me up and take your shot.     

   You can't take my freedom from me, 

Shake me, break me 

it's all I got. 

One night on the unfeeling road 

certainly won't bend me,

I'm built like the sparrow 

with a mind like a diamond

and a sailor can't offend me. 

 Night's not built just for the maniacs;

it's for the tangled lovers 

it's for the genius;

it's for silent love undercover.  

The most exuberant love 

is unrequited 

no matter how many letters you send. 

A broken heart hurts everyday

 but you will always love her in the end.

Here

You don't punch a hole in the wall,

you burn the whole house to the ground. 

I stand back and watch the blaze,

Raging, sinking into that hallowed sound. 

But if you want, dear,

you can call here.

Come the night

I'll be at the pier. 

And if you need me

you can find me,

Every night you know where I'll be. 

Scream and kick and fight me,

you've come too late for my heart. 

Everyone says they're different 

and then they tear your world apart. 

But if you want, love

I'll lift you above

show them all what I am made of. 

If you're lonely,

you can call me,

not for my heart or soul 

but you'll get what you need. 

Word

Truths

I take care of my own 

but will not take responsibility 

for being anyone's bad influence. 

Don't try to keep up with me

but keep friends in low places. 

Play your hand close to your chest. 

Let them underestimate you.  

You know thyself,

and are clever enough 

to feed candy to the stupid people. 

We are Vikings,

we carry the torches

when the masses require light

to stay on the course of least resistance. 

I will no longer tell anyone 

to never lose hope,

because you can be robbed of all hope;

your soul vandalized

and your character assassinated 

when it's not your fault. 

There are big truths 

and small ones of the master plan. 

Tell the greater actuality 

and show your war paint. 

Never blame anyone for your choices,

we're all damaged goods to someone. 

I can make you unabashedly happy. 

I promise I will be your lullaby. 

Judge me because you're not the same,

and you're the fatuous believing lies. 

The Return of Mr. Badger

 

Amanda Barnabe is the gender fluid queer expression advocate that can best be as the love child of Bettie Page and James Dean.  With over sixteen years experience in community organizing and grassroots leadership, this mad poet has a port in every city with a light in the window. She's survived homelessness, self harm and a leap off the San Fransisco Golden Gate Bridge. Her passions are photography, performing arts and writing poetry. For the copyrighted work of Amanda Barnabe, also fondly known as The Artful Jake Badger, please forward your inquiries to Klein Padron and  Associates.